Sunday February 15th 2009

Another 1.5 pounds gone - going well. Two 6 mile walks round the Whissendine 6 this weekend - one with Ro and Geoff's dog Roy! Most amusing watching him trot away in the middle of the lane in front of us proudly holding his stick - he is stone deaf by the way - being followed by an irate farmer beeping his horn impatiently! Roy totally ignoring him until he turns round to check we are still there and seeing the landrover!! V amusing! Anyway Roy went straight to sleep under the table when he got back!!
So far then the total loss is 11.5 pounds and quite a few inches. Not too far now to the first whole stone gone. My trousers are feeling nice and loose as well - very satisfying and encouraging.

I have to say though that in this blog I make it all sound easy when it is decidedly not. Every meal needs discipline when the pull is so strong to give up; every exercise routine is difficult to start when all I want to do is to curl up in front of the fire with a piece of victoria sponge and a cup of tea. But the stronger pull now is the freedom from self condemnation and accusation that I now have and that is worth it all - the realisation that I do possess inner strength -to activate it I have to step out as it were in faith and as soon as I do that, the rest follows - it's just the beginning I have to do and then it takes on a momentum all of it's own because the strength is there to be had - supplied when I trust my Maker for each day. There will continue to be strong challenges but I will ' run the race that is set before me... and not look back.

February 12th - Guildford

Not particularly good progress this week so don't hold out much hope of losing much. Reason? I ran in the hotel gym on /sunday - 5 k then Monday and Tuesday had a full day at Guildford High School followed by a train journey and 2 hrs training for teachers at Surbiton High Juniors so was wacked when I got back. Also have eaten a bit more - not massively but still more than I should so we shall see. Tonight I didn't have to go to Surbiton so I managed a 2k road run thn it rained so I beetled back to the hotel and did a further 3k in the gym followed by a blissful sauna and steam and brief swim. I Do LOVE the sauna!! I lie imagining that I am on the beach at Argeles in the hot sun relaxing. So I am very envious Maria of your holiday in Tenerife in the sun - it must be so difficult coming back?
Anyway - home again tomorrow and in the office most of next week so able to really focus on the regime and new habits.

February 7th Weigh Day

The regime is working! Lost another 1.5 pounds this week -on my scales, 2 pounds on Judith's scales. I have done 5, 3 mile runs and a 6 mile walk - easily fitted into my day. The run at about 5:30 is working extremely well as it means I don't have to punish myself by having to get up at some unearthly time and apparently it is much better to do it when you are fully awake!! I also have to confess to loving being able to turn over for another half hour!! It also has the effect of making me not eat after 2 o'clock and then when I have done the run I don't feel hungry. I was very pleased that for the first time yesterday when I was running intervals I was still going really strong at the end of each run interval - it won't be long until I can reduce the walking up hill interval to one minute and increase the running interval to 4 minutes. I have also gradually increased the speed even though it doesn't seem very fast - from 5.2 to 5.6 mph this week. I am also upping the speed on the last lap to 6. So not far off the 6mph - another couple of weeks.
My measurements have reduced again as well - another 3 inches in total this week and I am beginning to notice it off my hips which is good news.

This next week is going to be a bit more difficult as I will be working (weather permitting) in Guildford and won't be able to fit in a run on Monday or Tuesday as I go to Surbiton to do ACTIVExpression training from 4-6 so won't be back until after 7 and so....we will see...it might be the best thing for me- depends....I guess we may not go as the wether has several warnings but we are leaving tomorrow after lunch before the weather sets in.

I am very grateful to all the encouragement you are all giving me as it helps me to be really disciplined and focused and I feel so much better and confident that I can do this. One of the things that has always been a problem for me has been when I am away on work and eating restaurant meals etc.. but I have dealt with that one and have got used to it so this week will be a challenge as people on the team will be eating loads of biscuits and sandwiches and I used to feel I had to too to be polite but I don't think like that anymore - I don't have to please others all the time - it's time I thought about what I want...I am not responsible for others habits only mine. I just want to be a strong positive influence and something David said really helped - wow Mum it takes real discipline to do what you are doing. Funny but that was the first time I looked at what I am doing and thought yes I guess it does but it also is so satisfying to achieve and to feel better.
When I have got to my goal and have that new wardrobe of clothes I am going to throw all my old clothes away so that I don't look back to the 'comfort zone' but look forward to .............

One last point - another incentive - I really don't like having to write down bad news! Which is interesting psychologically as I only write my diary when things are tough!!

February 4th 2009

I think I may have an excuse for not doing any road running as our close has been turned into an ice rink for the past few days. It looks lovely though. It has been very cold as well which is why it hasn't melted. We had to cancel our trip to Guildford - first training session ever cancelled.

Anyway - I have been enjoying the running nonetheless and have continued on the treadmill - doing 3 miles a day. Running uphill for 2 minutes and then running at a faster pace for three minutes. This builds up strength and burns fat apparently. Today's run was particularly enjoyable. It felt very efficient. But it's SOOO cold in the garage- I have to keep going to prevent hypothermia!!

I have to say the controlled eating is much more difficult at home than away! I have counted calories and I have stayed about 1400 each day - sometimes more like 1200 - v difficult though!!! I don't 'feel as though I am losing it this week whereas last week I could 'feel' it. Had a cream egg today - there I've confessed!! Pity of it though was that it didn't taste as good as it should have and it made me feel sick! S'pose that's good!! The thought is obviously much better than the actual event - thoughts don't make me fat!!!!